When you respond to your crying baby, your crying baby learns that:

1. It works to use his words (yes, for now, those are his words),
2. His needs are valid (worth speaking up about),
3. You can be trusted, and
4. You are source of comfort in the midst of overwhelm.

Be careful with this process, parents.  You would not want baby to get the wrong impression.  If you don’t pick him up because you think that a young baby can be spoiled, you’re mistaken.  Spoiling and manipulation require a level of brain development and multitasking that your new baby simply does not possess.  Yet.

The first time I saw my Kindergarten teacher away from Kindergarten, she was at the opposite end of a long aisle in the local discount store.  And at the end of her arm, holding her hand, was …. a child.  A younger, cuter, version of myself and my classroom colleagues.

My mother noticed her at about the same time I did, and said, “Oh, there’s Mrs. Evans!” and took a step in my teacher’s direction, yanking my hand along with hers.  I stiffened, then melted.  Mom quickly abandoned her plans to say “hi” to my teacher, her plans to buy scotch tape, and her plans to make a dignified exit from the store.

“We’ve got to get her walkin’!” was Don’s battle cry upon hearing that his 14-month old granddaughter Lynn didn’t seem destined to begin walking any sooner than her mother or her uncle Rick had started — at the ripe age of 16 months.  Lynn’s mom (Don’s daughter) had just casually explained that little Lynn’s playgroup peers were already walking.  And snatching Lynn’s toys, then walking off with them.  The 14 month-old was helpless to do more than protest.

Visions of fifth-place finishes, runner-up trophies, and being picked last for teams swirled through Don’s anxious mind as he considered the future implications of his granddaughter’s missing milestone.  That Don’s own children has begun walking a little later then typical did not calm his fears.  Nor was his patience assisted by his medical training.  On most days Don, a doctor, understood (on an intellectual level) the wide range of normal human development.  But at that moment, Don was in Grandpa mode.

Sure, motor development milestones are important.  But parents can stress less, and enjoy their babies more if they use milestones to navigate, not rush the journey.

Top 5 ways that making it through the month of February is exactly like raising my kids:

1. Lotsa pink.
2. Lotsa sugar.
3. I love it, but it sure is lotsa work.
4. Why is it over so quickly?
5. Snow days make ME giddy, too.

Both of my children were born in February, and somewhere along the way, in a spasm of enthusiastic overreach, I encouraged them to consider February THEIR month (and the world their oyster, btw).  Selectively obedient girls that they are, they did.