Some say that play is the work of children.

I agree. Sort of….

The developmental tasks accomplished through playing are what truly matter.

Equally important: What kind of co-worker are you Mommy? The hovering, scampering, secretarial type?  The strict foreman who keeps the trains running on time?  Or are you more of an over-qualified, underpaid, personal assistant to a diva?

Here’s what your kid is working on, and how you can really help:

Birth to First Birthday:

Your super-curious baby spends a lot of her time figuring out her place in the world.

In the first few months of her life, she experiments with causes and effects — everything from what happens when she smiles or cries, to what happens when she kicks her foot at the new crib mobile. In the second half of her first year, she becomes able to direct her curiosity and see it through to a result.  Like that toy you think you hid, or the cup you think you put a lid on…. remember Mommy, it’s her job to discover. It’s your job to control her environment to make sure she learns that life is interesting, comforting, and safe. Besides, within months, she will love imitating you so much that she’ll even help clean up her own splashes. Discipline? Save it for next year.

First Birthday to 2 years old:

Your super-independent baby thinks she’s got it all figured out, doesn’t she?

She walks now (just like you).  She talks now (just like you, she thinks). What does she need you for?  Diaper changes, but she won’t always admit that. At this age, your toddler discovers multiple ways to reach her goals. If she wants her blankie from the laundry pile, she might pull down the whole pile to get it closer to her, or she might climb the furniture to get herself closer to it.  Either way, she’s convinced she doesn’t need your help — except for when she does, right?  It’s your job to be patient for now, and avoid power struggles. Discipline should be about setting and keeping boundaries, not punishment.

2 years old to 3 & 4 years old:

Your super-social kid spends a lot of time figuring out everyone else’s business — even if she has to make some of it up.

At first, your child starts with simple imitation of actions she has seen. By ages 3 and 4, she and her friends will use sociodramatic play (or make-believe) to try on different personalities, and try out different situations. The simple body-oriented play of the first 24 months is expanded to symbolic play, which means that kids this age can hold something in their minds although the object isn’t really there.  You know — they pretend. Mommy’s job: to be a good stage mother.

And I’ve discovered ways that Halloween candy can actually be useful to boosting a child’s confidence.

Mommy, after you’re done stealing from — pardon me, I meant to say “safety-checking” — your kid’s stash, here’s what else to do with all that candy:

A kinder, gentler pop quiz.

That overflowing plastic pumpkin holds the keys to academic skills your child will need when she begins formal schooling.

• Count. If your child is not ready to count (some children “sing” the numbers at first, before they learn one-to-one correspondence), let her watch you count how many pieces are in one handful. She might find it interesting when you point out that bigger hands hold more pieces than little hands do.
• Compare. What is the difference between a candy bar and a lollipop?  Is it the shape, the clear wrapper that one will have?
• Tally. Now that you’ve established the difference between a tootsie and a twizzler, you could make a chart.  An excellent way to begin to teach one-to-one correspondence would be to tape a piece of candy to a sheet of paper, and encourage your child to make one mark on the paper to represent each piece of matching candy that she finds in her bucket. Watch for signs that her attention span is full, or that she’s ready to move on to a different activity.
• Contrast. Your children will also be very interested in observing who hauled in how much of which treat!  Words like “more,” “less,” “bigger,” and “all” are math concept words.
• Sort by color, by size, by taste (sour?  sweet?)
• Name the goodies.  So many new words to learn on a night like this….
• Read the candy wrappers.  Environmental print is one of the most natural ways for children to practice noticing letter shapes.  Look with your child at the art and letters on the wrappers.  See if any additional fantasies or stories are sparked in your child’s mind.

Click this title to learn more about young children’s emerging math skills:  Your Child’s Hidden Math Skills.

For more tips on protecting your child’s emotional safety at Halloween time, see these previous articles: Emotional Safety At Halloween Time, Part I & Emotional Safety, Part 2., and Emotional Safety, Part 3.

“Mandy, this is red…. Red, meet Mandy, your biggest fan.”

I like to allow children to completely explore a concept before they begin to create within the confines of it. When applied to learning about color, that theory notifies parents to make simple introductions.

Offering your child a pre-packaged kit of watercolors will certainly supply her with the tools for hours of fun and creativity. But I think there is a better, more organic way to introduce your 30 to 36 month-old to color learning.

Color Math.

Let’s start with an equation that boosts brain development and pumps up motor skills development: Water + Color = Learning.

Think that’s exciting? How ’bout this formula: Water + Color + One more Color = ANOTHER color!

When you show young child how to mix colors, she’s not only conducting an experiment to see what new colors result (a science lesson in itself!), she learns the important discipline of following a sequence, gets a good cause and effect lesson, and she strengthens her planning skills for future art projects.  Once she finishes her investigation, she might want to create a work of art, or start all over again.

Gather :

• One clean eyedropper for each artist
• One clear or white ice cube tray for every two artists to share
• Food coloring in the primary colors: blue, red, and yellow
• White construction paper, or watercolor paper
• paint brushes, child-sized

Start by filling the ice cube trays with water (more than halfway, less than spillable). Add 3 or 4 drops of blue food coloring into one of the sections of of the tray.  Choose another section in which to add 3 or 4 red drops. Choose one more section in which to add 3 or 4 yellow drops.

Next you’ll develop your child’s motor skills by teaching her how to squeeze the eyedropper, and use that new skill to mix new colors. Start with a bowl of clear water. And plenty of paper towels! Grabbing up the water, then releasing it in the right place is a complicated symphony of fine motor skills, aiming, and timing. A lot like playing in a real symphony. As you show her how it’s done, describe each step so that she can see and hear what’s happening.

Point out that you are:

• Pinching the soft bulb of the dropper,
• Then placing the tip in the water.

After that you will:

• Open your fingers, and
• See the water come up into the tube,

Next, it’s time to:

• Take the eyedropper out of the water, and
• Pinch the bulb again to get the water back out.

When your child finishes practicing with the bowl of clear water, she will complete this process with colored water.  At that time, she’ll need to know to aim the dropper right before she squeezes the colored water out. And, it will actually be a little easier for your child to see the water enter the tube. But practicing with clear water one or two times can greatly reduce mistakes, therefore, frustration.

Now, it’s time to mix.

Ask your preschooler to:

1. Choose a color water (red, blue or yellow) section of the ice cube tray, then
2. Use the eyedropper to grab up some of the color water.
3. Squeeze the color water back out of the tube, into a section that has clear water.
4. Repeat, using one of the remaining colors, and aiming at the section the same section as in step 3.
5. Describe what she sees.

Help your artist continue experimenting until she has combined all of the secondary colors (purple, orange, and green) from the primary colors of red, blue, and yellow.

Extension and follow-up activities.

A child who is interested in doing more with these newly “created” colors might enjoy painting with a brush onto thick paper, or she might like to use the dropper to spread color water onto thick paper.

Check back tomorrow for more of The Art and Work of Creative Parenting series.

Blocks are so important to building a child’s skills through play, that I’ve used them to assess whether or not a child was developing on track. Yes, that important.

From the small wooden cubes that babies instinctively like to stack to the brick-sized cardboard ones that are perfect for team projects, blocks are… well… um, a building block of your child’s development across multiple domains.

You should expect your money’s worth out of blocks. That means all blocks, large and small, should be versatile, durable, non-toxic, a pleasure to touch and manipulate, well-made (splinter-free!), and able to hold up under a toddler’s weight (yes, they will stand on them). The best blocks sets will have many assortments that you can purchase in future years to enlarge your child’s collection and imagination.

Unit blocks

These blocks come in sizes that reflect the mathematical (or proportional) relationship between the blocks. There are several of a basic size, then several blocks that are twice the basic size, then even more that are twice the middle size. I love the way these blocks will either reinforce math concepts if your child is ready to “get” them, or the blocks are content to wait patiently until your child is ready. They are fun to handle regardless of where your child is in his learning process.

Brick-like blocks

These blocks tend to be rectangular, and varied in size within the same set.  Some are decorated like bricks, and they are usually made of cardboard. Many come unconstructed, or able to be deconstructed. In my opinion, having your child help you put the blocks together in preparation for playing with them someday is a valuable lesson in stewardship.

Tips and suggestions for block play (not that your kid will need any!)

Small blocks

• See how many wooden cubes your 6-month old can stack.  You’ll be surprised — it’s not a skill that babies spend a lot of time on, but it is one they can quickly master.
• Talk to your older baby or toddler about the shapes of the blocks.
• Talk to your toddler about the sizes of the blocks. “Smaller,” and “bigger” are important concepts.
• Ask your toddler to match the blocks by size.

Larger blocks:

• Build a wall.
• Make a yellow brick road, or a colorful brick road. Your child will love trying to walk on it without falling off.
• Count the sides of the blocks for your child.
• Ask your preschooler to match the blocks by shape, regardless of size.

While MommyGarten is on vacation this week, please enjoy these excerpts from popular blog posts.

How do babies learn? (from January 2010)

The word “learn” has fascinating origins.  The ancient languages that gave us this word first described learning in terms of footprints, furrows and tracks.  Considering the process by which experiences shape the brain, and leave a physical trail of life’s experiences, it is clear that the old schoolers were intuitively aware of principles of neuroscience that would not be (could not be) confirmed for centuries.

Here are some images that remind me of how new experiences stimulate the infant brain: Envision walking along, leaving your footprints on a soggy beach when the tide is coming in.  The faint impression is there, but shallow, and not necessarily permanent.  Now think of a well-worn path that suggests itself as the best way to cross a yard, or hike a hill.  Those repeated trips across the terrain are analogous to how repeated experiences shape the brain.  On the beach or nature trail, our feet make the journey.  In our brains and bodies, electrical impulses carry information between brain cells.

What is your baby’s learning environment like? (from March 2010)

Traditional classrooms function like courtrooms. The judge of knowledge (the teacher) decides which evidence (information) is worthy of consideration. In later grades, the test is the method by which students are allowed to prove their cases, their understanding of the material. What if your child already understands the facts of the case, and becomes bored? Objection! What if your child is a kinesthetic learner, and will remember better by acting out what butterflies do? Objection!

The best possible preparation for formal schooling begins now. Your infant’s curiosity is an expression of innate intelligence.  Her learning instinct should be rewarded by the joy of discovery, not mishaps due to lack of safety-proofing.  Later in life, your child won’t be content to wait for an external authority to tell her what to think, or what to think about — if you let her practice at home.

More recaps tomorrow and every day this week. Check back daily for specific, realistic, age-appropriate child development tips.

Whether strolling through a neighborhood, or through a park, your fellow (feathered) citizens are ready to help you teach your child about Mother Nature.

It’s Earth Day all week long at MommyGarten.com, and today we talk about some of the compelling creatures who share the outdoors with us and our children.

Spring is for the birds

The sunny and mild spring months provide numerous opportunities for your inquisitive child to observe bird life cycles, parenting skills, and habits.

Settled babies (3 months and older) will have the hearing acuity to notice bird chirps and become interested in searching for the source of the sounds. To stimulate your baby’s language and listening skills in this unique way, not much is required of you, Mommy (or Daddy). Just some time outside, sunscreen or a shady overhang, and a golden silence that the birds in your neighborhood or park will fill.

Toddlers completely understand the concepts of “hungry” and “food”, don’t they? The idea of “throwing,” too ya think? Sounds like a trip to the local duck pond to me! Even in the middle of cities, ducks can make a home in human-made bodies of water.  Your toddler will love the cause and effect (cognitive development) of throwing bits of bread, then watching his popularity soar among the urbanized waterfowl. Daddy will like that your child spent the day working on his pitching arm (motor development).

Words of warning (that you already know): toddlers toddle. Don’t get dangerously close to the water’s edge — it’s not necessary, because the plump citified birds will come to you when they get a whiff of free lunch. Which leads me to another word of warning — one that my daughter and her best friend learned the hard way in 1993 at the Tulsa zoo: if you see geese, keep your distance, unless you want to learn the origin of the slang term “goosed.”

Birds enchant preschool-age children because they are earth creatures, yet sky creatures, too. Children old enough to sustain an interest in a more structured field trip will be able to notice the varying sizes and colors of birds, hear the differences in the sounds the birds make, and talk about the event at a later time. You might even find their artwork inspired by what they have seen and discovered while birdwatching.

Yesterday’s post: Mother and Child Reunion.  Mother Earth, that is.

Check back tomorrow for more of Earth Day all week at MommyGarten.com!

The day your baby met you, she started on her homework.

You might remember that her gaze was fixed on your face, hairline, areola, eyes, open mouth — the round things.

The interest she showed was the beginning of her ability to observe, collect information based on what she sees, and notice details of objects, or differences between objects.

Later in life those skills will be called mathematics.

There are plenty of everyday activities that teach your young child what she needs to know about future academic skills.

• Laundry – as soon as your baby can stoop and recover, or toddle, she is ready to “help” you with laundry. When you tell her that the red socks  belong to sister’s clothing pile, and the white socks go in daddy’s pile, you are teaching her about sorting. Mommy’s little secret: your kid just did a chore!
• Play time – If you have a shapes puzzle for your 2 1/2 year old, know that it helps her to match an object to its form.  If you don’t, take 3 or 4 household items, trace around them, and allow your child to place each item in its outline.
• Dinner preparation –  This is also great way for your toddler to see you measuring ingredients, and making decisions about how much lettuce to apportion each person. Another stealth chore: those pudgy little crazy-strong hands of hers can tear lettuce and place it in bowls.
• Group play times – While your toddler won’t be able to remember the rules, or be terribly concerned about following them, she can participate in some parts of the games that older kids play.  When it is time to deal each player a card, or move the game pieces two spaces because the dice landed on snake-eyes, your child learns one-to-one correspondence, a basic principle of counting.

Instead of quizzing or pressuring your child to learn, encourage her natural interest in shapes, amounts, one-for-me, one-for-you. Fun-based learning will make academic skills seem like just another part of life, rather than a stress-inducing performance.

Those two things are one and the same for young children.

Efficient little babies like to check things out with the most sensitive, high-precision tools they have: their mouths.

That’s why it is so important to choose durable toys that are not choking hazards, that are not painted with poison (toxic paints), and do not contain lead.

Your baby’s mouth is a versatile tool.

At first her mouth gulped a lungful of air for her first cry, then it gulped nourishment to fuel her first days outside the womb.   One of the first things she could do was search for, and learn the feel of, your nipple — using her mouth.  Before long she began using her mouth to coo with you, soothe herself (hooray for thumbsucking!), and practice an important life-long social skill, the smile.

Your baby’s mouth is an engineering marvel.

She even has extra tastebuds in that busy little mouth of hers.  The tastebuds are distributed in a way that allows your baby to taste more, and enjoy longer, the fluids she takes in she’s in the traditional breastfeeding positions.  Those facts mean that a young child’s mouth will be more sensitive to texture and temperature, as well as taste.

Mouth exploration is a developmental stage.

A valid one.  A necessary one.  The ability to bring hands to her mouth (2 months-ish) combines with the intense interest in bringing objects to her mouth (3 months-ish).  Once she gets the object to her mouth, she will explore it with her tongue and lips.  There is a lot of information that can be gleaned from the munching that babies naturally do to a new object.  At about 5 or 6 months of age, when she’s more mobile, she’s also in more danger.  A thorough saftey-proofing is necessary.  As your older baby learns to eat solids, emerging teeth get in on the action, too.

The Year of the Mouth culminates in indispensable life skills: learning how to pucker up to kiss loved ones, eating, brushing her teeth, and someday, applying lip gloss.

The judge of knowledge (the teacher) decides which evidence (information) is worthy of consideration.

In later grades, the test is the method by which students are allowed to prove their cases, their understanding of the material.

What if your child already understands the facts of the case, and becomes bored?  Objection! What if your child is a kinesthetic learner, and will remember better by acting out what butterflies do?  Objection!

As a recovering schoolteacher, I can tell you that most of the thinking skills, learning styles, and beliefs about her own abilities will have already been set in your child’s mind before she sets foot in a formal classroom.

Shortly after birth, your newborn will tell you what’s on her mind by looking at things that interest her.  She’ll like to look at your face, your hairline, and high-contrast patterns.  By the time she is a settled baby (about 3 months old), she will indicate what looks interesting to her by reaching for it.  If your infant accomplishes the goal of actually grasping the tantalizing item, she’ll taste it.  Mouth exploration is normal, and necessary.  For now, it is polite to stare.  The brief gazes of a newborn evolve into a full stare by the time she’s 3 or 4 months old.  This gaze lasts about a minute, but it seems like forever to grandparents awaiting the return of a smile.

In the last half of baby’s first year (6-12 months), the mouth exploration no longer yields enough information.  Children of this age love to touch and poke different textures.  They also like to drop, yank, flick, bang, and pull things.  Here it comes again, folks… the “S” word:  Safety-proofing.  And we need to talk about the big “O” as well:  Object permanence.  This means that hiding contraband or distracting your baby is not the end of the issue anymore.  Your kid can now remember that something exists (and tastes delicious, btw), even though you just confiscated said item.  On the plus side, that milestone is an indicator of intellectual development.

The best possible preparation for formal schooling begins now.  If you nurture your baby in an environment that respects her questions by answering them, her future questions will continue to be meaningful ones.  If she discovers a talent or a niche that has a place of honor in her home, the inspirational process of learning will have a place of honor in her life. Your infant’s curiosity is an expression of innate intelligence.  Her learning instinct should be rewarded by the joy of discovery, not mishaps due to lack of safety-proofing.  Later in life, your child won’t be content to wait for an external authority to tell her what to think, or what to think about — if you let her practice at home.

When you honor your infant’s emerging wonder about the world, you allow your baby’s learning process to be less like a courtroom, and more like a laboratory filled with experiments, hypotheses about what will happen, theories, trial and error, logic, and the power of knowledge.

The human brain begins forming just three weeks after conception.  At peak development, the cerebral cortex creates 2,000,000 (wait let me count the zeros… yep, that’s two million) synapses every second.  Yes, every second.

Some of these connections form in utero so that reflexes and breathing can be in place at birth, yet others form when stimulated by:

• Baby’s environment (Mother Nature nominates you, Mommy),
• daily interactions (nomination seconded!), and
• the emotional transactions that lead to secure attachment (you just won yourself an election, little lady).

Every experience — from playing giggle games  to realizing that a loved one (a bigger, more capable one) appears in response to a cry, — touches and strenghthens specific circuits while leaving others untouched.  Think “guy at the gym who pumps a lot of iron, but obviously never works out his legs.”

Unused connnections prune themselves away.  As they should.  Streamlined neural porcessing makes the remaining connections more efficient.  Think “it certainly is easier to find the things I need in my pantry now that I’ve tossed the food that nobody was eating”.

By two years of age, a toddler’s cerebral cortex contains a density and quality of neurons that far surpasses adult levels — well over a hundred trillion.  I don’t even know how many zeros to put.  I used to know, but I stopped using the hundred-trillion part of my brain…..

The developing brain (the childhood brain) is far more responsive to stimulation than an adult’s brain.  This is termed “plasticity.”  The most revolutionary finding in neuroscience is the confirmation that all brains, new and old, have the regenerative power of neuroplasticity.  But in this area, especially, babies remain even brainier than the rest of us.