Thumbs In!
A reader of this blog recently contacted me for advice on a universal parenting issue.
She said:
“My son sucks his thumb. Even the ultrasound images showed him with his thumb in his mouth. He’s almost six years old! Do you have any suggestions on how to break this habit? As cute as it was, it’s starting to affect his teeth. We tried bargaining with him, to buy him some cowboy boots if he could stop. He got very excited for about 5 minutes, then he just automatically started again, right after I turned away.”
My response:
Let me start by saying I can relate — my younger one was a thumb connoisseur since the womb days, too. My older one was not. Guess who needed braces? Both of them.
Disclaimer: Your son might find my point of view more helpful than you do. That’s because I think thumb-sucking is what a coping skill looks like when it is first born.
Babies are naturally inclined to interact with the world via their mouths. See MommyGarten.com blog post Does Your Baby Have a Smart Mouth? Beyond exploration, babies and young children suck their hands, fingers, and thumbs to soothe themselves. Any time that a person can find mood-regulating tools within himself, instead of reaching for something external, it’s a good thing.
Someday, the range of healthy choices for being responsible for one’s own emotional state will include meditation, spiritual practice, having a good cry, having a good laugh, having good relationships. The range of unhealthy choices for managing stress in adulthood is on display every day of the week on reality television: overeating, overdrinking, overspending, and hollow relationships. Braces are cheaper than psychoanalysis or rehab or divorce.
On a geeky note: The child development “aha” that stands out about your son’s habit is that even in the womb, he was able to isolate his thumb from the rest of his hand, and bring it to his mouth. Many newborns need help bringing their hands to their mouths, so I’m noticing that your boy has always had precise motor skills. So do all future artists, pianists, violinists, and athletes. My daughter, the former thumb aficionado, remains talented with her hands. In fact, she quickly gets bored with sports that are not hands-on (hurdles and lacrosse), and she excels at sports where she can touch the ball (volleyball and basketball, for example) — just something I noticed over the years.
As your son matures, he will change his mechanisms for self-soothing, but let’s hope he retains the ability to be emotionally self-nurturing. Today’s thumbsucker might be tomorrow’s yoga practitioner, compassionate dad, or prolific artist.
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Carly Jennings | Emotional Development | 
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My oldest daughter sucked her tongue up agains her front teeth. It was starting to effect her teeth that were jutting out a bit. When she was 10 the orthadontist made a retainer with a hole in the roof of it for her tongue to rest on. It worked. A retainer might be uncomfortable enough to help break the habit for you too.
Comment by Doll Alexander — April 5, 2010 @ 2:47 pm
I’m 43 and was a habitual thumb-sucker. My parents tried just about everything that was available at the time (sock on the hand at night, spicy stuff rubbed on thumb) and none of it worked. Did I need braces? Yes, but so did my two non-thumb sucking siblings. So how did I finally stop? I just…did. I know it may be hard to watch but chances are he’ll grow out of it. I promise I don’t still suck my thumb. Good luck.
Comment by Ali — December 7, 2011 @ 11:16 am
People develop habits that bring them comfort, but they always appreciate help for both decreasing the need for their habits and for being able to replace them with improved techniques. Therefore…
Be the best detective you can be to find out what the major stresses are in your child’s life. Then do whatever you can to reduce or eliminate them.
NOTE: From reflexology we learn that stimulating the thumbs has a way of balancing hormones throughout the body and that sitting with hands folded fosters total body relaxation. Hmm… very interesting. It is no wonder that so many babies figure out thumb sucking and that so many teachers in the old days figured out sitting with hands folded.
Comment by Dr. Sally — January 24, 2012 @ 12:17 pm
Thanks Ali, for your comments!
Comment by Carly Jennings — January 26, 2012 @ 10:25 am
Thanks Sally, for your comments !
Comment by Carly Jennings — January 26, 2012 @ 10:30 am
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