Halloween night can be a carnival of chaos for babies and young children.

It’s no surprise that the odd sights, and sounds, a first encounter with a (possibly) itchy costume, along with the new tastes and aromas, can quickly overload each of your little one’s five senses.

To change Halloween from a potentially stressful experience, into a fun, familar one — try this:

• Create costumes from cast-off or outgrown clothing.  Ankle-high, threadbare blue jeans are exactly what the scarecrow ordered. Use pink felt and non-toxic glue to transform a comfy, familiar sweatsuit into a mouse costume.  When you use materials that your toddler recognizes, you make the costume more approachable.
• Don’t set aside costumes for trick-or-treating only.  Your young child might back out of the whole overwhelming event at the last minute. If she has had time to wear and enjoy her costume, at least you will have gotten your money’s worth out of it.  Extend the life of your child’s costume by expecting her to want to wear it long before the big day — and long afterwards.  Dressing up in new outfits (and new personalities!) will stimulate the development of pretend-play skills.
• Use non-toxic face paint instead of masks.  Your young child will feel more in control if she can breath freely and see well.  Okay…. that’s a physical safety issue, as well.
• Involve everyone.  If your bulldog borrows big sister’s tutu for the evening, little sister sees yet another example of how much fun it can be to play along.

For more tips on protecting your child’s emotional safety at Halloween time, see these previous articles: Emotional Safety At Halloween Time, Part I & Emotional Safety, Part 2.

For more tips on how to encourage your child’s natural love for pretend play, read: Stage Mother.

Autumn brings families lovely weather, festivals, and other exciting activities.  But at times, Halloween can be a little too exciting for your baby or young child.

An infant who has just discovered the joys of stranger anxiety is in no mood to put up with a bunch of folks who look even stranger than usual for a few days in October.

Keep reading to see what you can do to help your child weather this season.

1.  Talk.

Prepare your child for potentially frightening events in advance by sitting down to read Halloween-themed books together, or watching high-quality television programs that show examples of safe, fun, Halloween activities.  Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang always have some problem-solving skills to share.  Clifford (the big, red, dog of literary fame) has an adventure on Halloween night that your own family pet might aspire to (check out Norman Bridwell’s classic book, Clifford’s Halloween).

2.  Then, listen.

If your child expresses fear or apprehension, respect his boundaries.  Stern warning, parents:  if you downplay his concerns, or nudge him to overcome his reluctance, he loses a valuable opportunity to learn how to protect himself from harm — real or imagined. He needs to build up self-care muscle for that someday when he chooses his teenage friends, dares to be different, or has to break the news to you that he’s going to clown college, not Cornell (see? This Halloween stuff can go too far!)

More tomorrow on how to treat this tricky time of year…..

Emotional Safety, Part 2

It’s always a little surprising when we realize how wild our babies really are.

I don’t mean the “prefers to go barefoot” version of untamed. Not even the rather cute “my child really likes nuts and berries” kind of wild.

Nope, I mean the poop-whenevah-wherevah-you-want wildness. The snatch or be snatched toy ethics, and the take a nap any-dang-where mode of savagery. Survival of the stubbornest, child bite child.

You’ve seen playgroup. It’s a jungle in there.

Your backyard is probably more of a wildlife sanctuary than you realize.

With a few simple additions (bird feeder and water source) to what your backyard offers, your family can enjoy the regular company of bird visitors. Your children will see that animal companions need food, clean water, and safety — just like the rest of us. Kids will also develop their empathy instinct as they see birds busy with their survival tasks: finding food, flocking together, flying away from danger.

Not much backyard? Even one side of a fence will accept a passionfruit vine. Butterflies and other pollinators will visit often. For a more purposeful butterfly garden, plant herbs that you might want for your own use, then resolve to share. Offer sweet fennel, parsley, and dill for the caterpillars (the larvae that will turn into a butterfly), as well as food sources for adult butterflies. They like to dine on mustard greens, garlic chives, oregano, thyme, among many others.

Developmental benefits

Infants gain visually interesting and cognitively stimulating life experiences when they spend time outside with family members who are tending to the bird feeder or refilling the water source. Babies always see those type activities inside the home. To observe outdoor living and caretaking will expand their horizons.

Toddlers and preschoolers who help support backyard wildlife gain a sense of their roles in the world beyond their home. Responding to the needs of creatures who peacefully share our space with us will add meaning to the important concept of responsibility.

Boost your young learner’s organization skills by helping her to:

• Make a schedule of tasks.
• Conduct a butterfly count.
• Track bird sightings on a chart.
• Learn the names of the butterfly host plants.

Children who interact with creatures even wilder than they are learn responsibility, compassion, organizing skills, and most importantly, respect for needs beyond their own.

If there’s one thing Mother Earth does better than any of her sister planets, it’s giving birth.

She gestates. She grows things.  She’s a Fertile Myrtle. She’s a baby mama. She’s preggers. Get my drift?  She’s like Jon and Kate plus 8 wowzillion, ya dig?

The horny old broad has some randy heirs, too. Some of them breed every few days, while others modestly wait a year between litters. Yet, some of her more introverted progeny, like bamboo forests, get the urge once every 48 years.

Here’s how to invite some of Mother Earth’s offspring to a play date with yours.

Babies live by the WIIFM — “What’s In It For Me?” — principle. A windowsill herb garden will answer that question to your infant’s satisfaction. He can enthusiastically participate in the tending of this mini-garden.

Your older baby (6 -12 months) or toddler (12 -24 months) can:

• Use a small cup to water the plants that you tell him need care. At first he will need you to guide his hand; later he will imitate what he sees, then eventually, he will comply with your instructions on when and where to dump the water.
• Help you harvest the basil for tonight’s spaghetti. Or the cilantro for tomorrow’s scrambled eggs. Regardless of how much of the table food baby eats, he can be involved.
• Nibble along with you as you harvest the herbs.
• Smell the bounty of scents that an herb garden provides. Bruise the leaves and stems between your thumb and forefinger to release essential oils and fragrance. Hold the herb to your own nose to let baby know that an interesting smell awaits his attention.  Then offer the sample to him, about 3 inches from his face — see if he leans toward the scent, or otherwise shows an interest, before moving it closer to his nostrils.

Although preschoolers can deal with more information than infants or toddlers, the trick is still to stimulate attention without taxing attention spans.  Quick, daily parts of the gardening process will make for a developmentally appropriate introduction to gardening, and its ultimate purpose, self-care. Planting, then watching the garden for signs of growth, then ultimately harvesting, will give you plenty of teachable moments to share with your child.

If you are growing a lettuce, herb, or vegetable patch outside, your 3, 4, or 5 year-old can:

• Harvest according to your demonstrations and instructions.
• Use a sorting activity to build math skills. Tell him that today you will pick green things and red things, for example.  Give him a green crayon and a sheet of paper so that he can draw a depiction of a the green veggie you’ll be harvesting.  Provide a separate sheet and a red crayon for tomatoes, etc. Every time either of you collects an item, take the time to place it on the pile (or basket or bowl) that belongs to the corresponding illustration.
• Wash the day’s bounty to your satisfaction.
• Arrange and proudly serve up salads to hungry, appreciative family members.

No garden of your own? No worries, Mommy. A picnic will do. With Eric Carle’s classic tale, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, as your guide,  your child can hear a good story, become more familiar with counting, and taste-test the earth-grown foods mentioned in the book.

The most important lesson to be learned: Food doesn’t really come from a box or a window on the side of a building — food comes from a hands-on process.

Yesterday’s post:  Water Wednesday — no nagging, no conservation.  Just fun.

Check back tomorrow for more of Earth Day all week at MommyGarten.com!

Earth Day is a good occasion to remember that 70% of the earth’s surface is covered by water, most of it oceans.

Children of all ages love playing with water, in water, on water. You will love that they grow in multiple developmental areas with such a simple, inexpensive toy: H2O.

Infants will enjoy water play whether it happens inside or outside, and even if you insist on calling it a “bath.” Babies slap at the water to make splashes, to hear new sounds, and to investigate cause and effect (cognitive development). Bath time enhances body awareness and motor development — underwater kicks feel different, and the warm temperature of bathwater touches skin like no other substance can. To extend bath time (or wading pool) fun and learning, add:

• Plastic, non-breakable cups for filling, pouring, capturing soap suds.
• Brand-new sponges in different sizes for squeezing.
• Bath-size squirt toys.
• Large plastic spatulas for stirring and even bigger splashing than hands alone can accomplish.

Toddlers and young children definitely need to be outdoors to experience all that water and their imaginations will inspire them to do.

Offer them:

• Paint brushes. Kids this age will enjoy “painting” the driveway, sidewalks, the bricks on your house.  They will use fine motor skills, gross motor skills, thinking ahead and planning skills to complete their project.
• Hoses. Some nozzles have several spray patterns built in.  When your child tests different ones to find the best one for washing the remnants of yesterday’s chalk drawing off the sidewalk, she will engage in higher order thinking skills.
• Sponges. If you’re going to spend all that time outside, getting water in your crocs, don’t you at least deserve to have help getting your windows washed? Don’t be bashful — chores are an important part of self-care (emotional development) and responsibility (social development).
• Squirt bottles. When they play water tag (and you know they will), a squirt bottle helps them aim, and helps you make sure eyes, ears, and feelings don’t get water logged.

Check back tomorrow for more of Earth Day all week at MommyGarten.com!

Whether strolling through a neighborhood, or through a park, your fellow (feathered) citizens are ready to help you teach your child about Mother Nature.

It’s Earth Day all week long at MommyGarten.com, and today we talk about some of the compelling creatures who share the outdoors with us and our children.

Spring is for the birds

The sunny and mild spring months provide numerous opportunities for your inquisitive child to observe bird life cycles, parenting skills, and habits.

Settled babies (3 months and older) will have the hearing acuity to notice bird chirps and become interested in searching for the source of the sounds. To stimulate your baby’s language and listening skills in this unique way, not much is required of you, Mommy (or Daddy). Just some time outside, sunscreen or a shady overhang, and a golden silence that the birds in your neighborhood or park will fill.

Toddlers completely understand the concepts of “hungry” and “food”, don’t they? The idea of “throwing,” too ya think? Sounds like a trip to the local duck pond to me! Even in the middle of cities, ducks can make a home in human-made bodies of water.  Your toddler will love the cause and effect (cognitive development) of throwing bits of bread, then watching his popularity soar among the urbanized waterfowl. Daddy will like that your child spent the day working on his pitching arm (motor development).

Words of warning (that you already know): toddlers toddle. Don’t get dangerously close to the water’s edge — it’s not necessary, because the plump citified birds will come to you when they get a whiff of free lunch. Which leads me to another word of warning — one that my daughter and her best friend learned the hard way in 1993 at the Tulsa zoo: if you see geese, keep your distance, unless you want to learn the origin of the slang term “goosed.”

Birds enchant preschool-age children because they are earth creatures, yet sky creatures, too. Children old enough to sustain an interest in a more structured field trip will be able to notice the varying sizes and colors of birds, hear the differences in the sounds the birds make, and talk about the event at a later time. You might even find their artwork inspired by what they have seen and discovered while birdwatching.

Yesterday’s post: Mother and Child Reunion.  Mother Earth, that is.

Check back tomorrow for more of Earth Day all week at MommyGarten.com!

It hardly seems fair.

Every week, the moon has her own day: “Monday” in English; in Spanish “lunes” reminds us of lunar events.

But Mother Earth gets just one day per year? Well, let’s make the most of it.  We declare it Earth Day all week at MommyGarten.com.

We’ll tell you tips to help your baby, toddler, or preschooler grow and play outdoors — and the developmental benefits for doing so.

Infants

It’s easy to forget how unknown each new experience is to a baby. A baby born above the equator in the cold months (November to February, usually) has probably been carefully shielded from outdoor breezes. Within a few months postpartum, she will be ready to catch an outdoor wave of fresh air. When the wind taps her on the shoulder, ruffles Mommy’s hair, or dislodges dandelion seeds, baby will be interested and observant.  That means she’s thinking and noticing (cognitive development).

Toddlers

So she has mastered your cool tiles and wooden floors, eh?  Walking around, chasing siblings, bouncing up like a rubber band whenever her footing fails her. But does she know what a back yard really is?  Has she felt the silky tickle of blades of grass between her toes, or felt how Mother Nature’s carpet pads the thud of her tentative feet? I think it’s time, Mommy. Now, in the spring, before the stickers hatch in the summer heat. Learning more about her body and how it feels when she goes outdoors will not only enhance her motor development today, but that body awareness will help her enjoy sports later in life.

Preschool-age

God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt. That’s what your kid thinks, anyway. Don’t fight it, Mommy. Save your energy for the “Mudpies are not really pies so you shouldn’t try to eat them” debate. Dirt and water offer a rudimentary chemistry lab lesson. Children will adjust the “recipe” until their mudpies are the texture, size, and shape they desire. Making their own prop for pretend play shows great resourcefulness.  Please encourage it – let them make pie!  Then let them hose off before coming inside.

It’s Earth Day all week at MommyGarten.com!  Check back tomorrow for more child development tips and research-based information.

If the commercial promised: “Your toddler can paint!” you’d have probably wondered: that’s what she thinks I look like?…..

Why is it easy to see that it’s inappropriate to push some skills on our babies — but not others?

When it comes to reading, some parents place a big emphasis on how soon, how much, and how well their young children can decipher which ideas (aka “stories”) have been compressed into squiggles (aka “words”), and affixed to a two-dimensional surface (aka “page”).

Literacy, like every other life skill that your baby learns, will at first depend completely on the parents.  Start by reading age-appropriate books to your baby.  Use only cardboard books with sturdy pages.  Your smart baby’s innate curiosity will prompt her to reach out and grab (and taste) whatever you’re holding — make sure it’s non-choking.

Yes, your young child can read — someday.  Here’s what she will need to learn first:

How to explore a book: Expect her to want to hold the book.  Perhaps even upside down.  Let that go for now.  When she starts paying more attention to the pictures, she will also sort out the right way to hold the book.  Through her explorations, she will discover that books are fun. The pages flap around, they taste good (if it’s a cardboard book), and there’s a picture on every page!  Don’t expect her to start the book at the “beginning” for now.

How to pay attention to a book: Expect your child to hand you a book, then snuggle in, and get ready to listen to your voice.  The older she gets, the more your infant or toddler will react to the storylines in books.  Although she may even have favorite pages and pictures to look at, she’s also going to know that you like to begin the story at the beginning.  As her language skills grow, she will be able to use her words to name the elements of the page art, or to “read” along with you by making familiar sounds related to the story or characters.

How to book her own appointment with reading: Your child’s literacy will also mature into that very recognizable stage of independence.  You will know this has happened when she ”reads” her favorites to a captive audience: her dolls or stuffed friends.  Your young child might also offer to “read” to you — with a sometimes surprising accuracy.  That surprising accuracy thing means her books are important to her, so she has little patience for your reading flubs.  She can and will correct you, Mommy.

You don’t need a special system to teach your baby how to use (aka “love”) books.  You just need books and a lap.