Then he’ll follow you with his eyes.  Within a couple of months, he will smile.  At you.  On purpose. While he’s awake.

That is called the “social smile.”  And it’s a big deal when he decides to lay one on you.

The social smile is such a huge milestone because it brings together many other elements of your child’s development.

Cognitive Development and Body Awareness

Let’s review:  Your baby smiles at you, on purpose, while he’s wide awake — he clearly recognizes your visual representation (aka “face”).  He has been carefully observing your mouth and facial expressions, then pairing that information with the sounds of what you say.  The rhythms, too. A baby who smiles socially, or smiles back at you when you smile, knows how to take turns.

Emotional Development

Your prompt, consistent attention to his needs means that as the newborn develops into a settled baby, he can stress less about his problems, and enjoy life, his body, his family, his home a lot more. Your smiling tot with the good memory enjoys the experiences he associates with you, and knows that the love fest goes both ways.  His smile is the product of your investment in plenty of pleasurable face-to-face time.

Social Development

Your amazing baby instinctively knows what adults need to research in order to realize:  that a large part of our communication is non-verbal.   A baby capable of the social smile is a baby who has the maturity to ask for what he wants (more face time!), in a positive way.  He has outgrown his 100% reliance on the earlier strategies of cries and cues.

For babies, “smile” is a big word, and a big part of their growing language and social skills. The baby who learns to take turns will be able to make “conversation.”  The toddler who takes turns will be able to make friends.

Your baby’s first word, like your baby’s first step, is a journey, instead of the finish line we sometimes think it is.

I’m not trying to spoil anybody’s fun.  Your child’s first independent step is such a thrill that it’s dizzying.  Not for baby — for parents, I mean.  And the first recognizable word? Nothing less than an event — hey, I know the date, time, and GPS coordinates for my first kid’s first word, okay?

I’m just saying…. while you await the first word, or the first step, why not enjoy the developmental signs that are posted along the route?

As regular readers of this blog know, the newborn first translates her communiques into the language of the cry.  Within weeks after her birth, baby will have organized her cries into different sounding requests.  At about 3 months old, your baby will discover the joy of laughing.  By 6 months of age, she’s beginning to babble for entertainment, but for a purpose, too.  Your child is practicing the way her utterances sound and feel in her mouth as she attempts them.

A big milestone in receptive language (what baby can comprehend or comply with) occurs around 6 months of age:  your infant will turn her head to the sound of her name, looking around to seek out the source.  Beautiful.

A milestone in expressive language (what baby can you know, express) occurs not long after:  at around 7 months old, baby starts making consonant-based sounds.  One-syllable sounds at first:  gah, bah, kah, dah, and mah — I know, I know! That “mah” thing is particularly exciting, but um…. it’s just a sound for now.  At around one-year old, your child will say “Mama” and “Dada” like she means it.  Because she will.

Within a month or two of producing the consonant-based sounds, your young talker will link the monosyllables together.  Then she’ll develop the ability to imitate on purpose the sounds you make.

A few more notes for the journey:

• Receptive language ability (figuring out what comes out of your mouth) is a much better indicator of language development than expressive ability (what baby can make her own mouth say), during the first three years.
• When your (approximately) 9-month old infant can follow your instruction to wave “bye-bye” while saying something that sounds like “bye-bye”, you will know that she has combined several developmental markers into one communication action.
• Multilingual households might see a shift in the timeline of language development.  But amazingly, developing twice (or thrice) as many languages doesn’t take twice or thrice as much time.  Just a little longer.  Sometimes.

Scientists have discovered that babies between the age of 6 and 12 months are also ruthless editors — they simply don’t bother with sounds that don’t occur in what will be their native languages. Although babies’ brains are born ready to hear, understand, and produce all sounds of all languages known to humankind, the brain makes choices based on exposure, experiences, and usage.

]]> http://www.mommygarten.com/language-development/your-babys-first-word/feed/ 2 http://www.mommygarten.com/social-development/ten-developmental-signs-your-baby-isnt-a-baby-anymore/ http://www.mommygarten.com/social-development/ten-developmental-signs-your-baby-isnt-a-baby-anymore/#comments Fri, 12 Mar 2010 03:21:20 +0000 Carly Jennings http://www.mommygarten.com/?p=175 One of my favorite baby philosophies to ponder with parents is when a baby is no longer a baby?

It usually comes at me like this:  ”She’s growing so fast!” or  ”Does she look different to you?”  Sometimes a mom just sighs and says, “Ohh, he’s losing all his baby fat since he started walking.”

I tell parents that just as babies grow across diverse developmental domains, they also grow up in several observable ways.

Because I believe that parents are the real experts about their own babies, years ago I started asking parents themselves to help me solve the babyhood demarcation question.  There has always been a fascinating pattern to the answers.

Pre-parents (especially pregnant couples) give a definitive answer.  They tend to think that babyhood ends around the time of the first birthday.  But on-the-job parents (especially moms) who may or may not have already answered my question previously, describe the end of babyhood in terms of milestones, often physical ones like walking.  Hands-on parents also see changes in body type as a gauge of emerging toddler-ness.  When Moms and Dads do specify a time frame as the end of babyhood, they usually say 18 months or later.

The following developmental milestones begin to emerge around the time baby is 12 months old, and most children display nearly all of them by 18 months — exactly the time frame bounded by my terribly unscientific, yet excruciatingly accurate, longitudinal-ish survey.  Once again, parents know best.

You will know your infant is making a big move from the very needy first year of life, to the external world of multiple relationships, complex interactions, and asserting a separate identity when you observe the following milestones:

1. Imitation.  Your child will mimic simple actions, like talking on the telephone, or applying mascara (have we talked about safety-proofing yet?).  This isn’t the same as pretending.  Pretending involves an awareness of the unreality of the scenario.  When a 12-month old decides to rummage through your purse to use your cell phone, he’s not kidding.
2. Shaking head side-to-side.  We all know what that means.
3. Wanting to help when you put his clothes on.  He knows the routine, and he knows he can participate, so he does.  Quite charming.
4. Walks without help.  This time frame varies much more than new parents realize.  What really matters is the year-long sequence of body development that leads to walking.
5. Playing with others.  I didn’t say “sharing,” did I?  I didn’t even say “taking turns.”  That, too will have to be learned.
6. Purposefully uses a writing tool.  I can’t remember, so I have to imagine how empowering it must feel to go from needing a big person for almost everything in life, to being able to leave a mark on an otherwise blank surface.  Then another one!  And another! Why is mommy running toward me?  Oh, she wants to color, too — she doesn’t like clean bare walls, either.  Yay!
7. Will hand you an object when you ask.  If you ask nicely.  Unless it’s the marker he’s using to spiff up those boring walls of yours.
8. Wanting to control his own eating.  This is a prime time for power struggles around food and finickiness to begin.  Avoid them by knowing when he’s ready and capable of feeding himself.  He’ll certainly know.
9. Skills.  Social skills, to be precise.  Your growing baby enjoys saying “Hi” — at the appropriate time.  This feat is quite advanced beyond the stage of waving “bye-bye” on command.  That’s so 9-months old.  When your baby greets someone, he shows that he understands how people are to treat one another, and when to do so.
10. Often says ”No.”  Often says it when you interrupt his coloring, or anything else he thinks needs to be done at that moment.  But who can blame him?  He’s been hearing that word a lot lately.

Moms and Dads instinctively understand what it means to be a baby: Dependence.  And what it means to grow up: Independence.  Moving from needing others to wanting to function independently is something that babies instinctively know they’re ready for.  It’s something they are eager to announce to the world.

Your newborn’s previous address was insulated against sound, wind gusts, sudden movements, and bright lights.  He never knew hunger — instead he enjoyed a steady and constant supply of nutrition.  He drifted in and out of a blissful haze of napping, stretching, napping some more.

Compared to that personal paradise, life on the outside can be challenging.  Your child now has to learn the complex processes of experiencing needs, alerting you about the needs, then waiting to see what happens.

Your baby will also take on some of the self-care task of regulation.  When excessive stimulation intrudes, he will attempt to shut out the stimuli by turning away, withdrawing, becoming irritable, or even crying or sleeping.  He will show his appreciation for your efforts to soothe him by quieting when you comfort him.

Parents can lessen baby’s stress by observing the cues of overstimulation.  Maintain a household environment that is easy on the senses.  Keep the daily care routines easy for your baby to predict.  Within a few weeks, you’ll be able to notice that your infant reacts when he sees the bottle or breast.

Setting aside time for meaningful interactions will make a difference, too.  By 3 months of age, your child will show excitement by increasing the movements of arm and legs when he recognizes a toy that he enjoys.

Your careful parenting work will pay off.  Signs that your newborn is becoming a settled baby (12 to 16 weeks postpartum for babies carried to term):

• Communication evolves from cries and cues to purposeful, joyful conversations.  Favorite sounds abound.
• Multitasking.  He will be able to nurse and reach for a hand to hold.
• He will like to see your familiar face.  He’ll enjoy exchanging smiles, too.
• Baby develops hobbies, like nibbling on his feet or making saliva bubbles.
• He learns to fall asleep more independently.
• Temperament becomes more consistent.

Within a year, baby will become toddler.  A toddler who can wave “bye-bye”, imitate you, respond to phrases with actions, and know when to say “mama” or “dada.”  He’ll be a fully functioning member of the place you all call home.

The judge of knowledge (the teacher) decides which evidence (information) is worthy of consideration.

In later grades, the test is the method by which students are allowed to prove their cases, their understanding of the material.

What if your child already understands the facts of the case, and becomes bored?  Objection! What if your child is a kinesthetic learner, and will remember better by acting out what butterflies do?  Objection!

As a recovering schoolteacher, I can tell you that most of the thinking skills, learning styles, and beliefs about her own abilities will have already been set in your child’s mind before she sets foot in a formal classroom.

Shortly after birth, your newborn will tell you what’s on her mind by looking at things that interest her.  She’ll like to look at your face, your hairline, and high-contrast patterns.  By the time she is a settled baby (about 3 months old), she will indicate what looks interesting to her by reaching for it.  If your infant accomplishes the goal of actually grasping the tantalizing item, she’ll taste it.  Mouth exploration is normal, and necessary.  For now, it is polite to stare.  The brief gazes of a newborn evolve into a full stare by the time she’s 3 or 4 months old.  This gaze lasts about a minute, but it seems like forever to grandparents awaiting the return of a smile.

In the last half of baby’s first year (6-12 months), the mouth exploration no longer yields enough information.  Children of this age love to touch and poke different textures.  They also like to drop, yank, flick, bang, and pull things.  Here it comes again, folks… the “S” word:  Safety-proofing.  And we need to talk about the big “O” as well:  Object permanence.  This means that hiding contraband or distracting your baby is not the end of the issue anymore.  Your kid can now remember that something exists (and tastes delicious, btw), even though you just confiscated said item.  On the plus side, that milestone is an indicator of intellectual development.

The best possible preparation for formal schooling begins now.  If you nurture your baby in an environment that respects her questions by answering them, her future questions will continue to be meaningful ones.  If she discovers a talent or a niche that has a place of honor in her home, the inspirational process of learning will have a place of honor in her life. Your infant’s curiosity is an expression of innate intelligence.  Her learning instinct should be rewarded by the joy of discovery, not mishaps due to lack of safety-proofing.  Later in life, your child won’t be content to wait for an external authority to tell her what to think, or what to think about — if you let her practice at home.

When you honor your infant’s emerging wonder about the world, you allow your baby’s learning process to be less like a courtroom, and more like a laboratory filled with experiments, hypotheses about what will happen, theories, trial and error, logic, and the power of knowledge.

The human brain begins forming just three weeks after conception.  At peak development, the cerebral cortex creates 2,000,000 (wait let me count the zeros… yep, that’s two million) synapses every second.  Yes, every second.

Some of these connections form in utero so that reflexes and breathing can be in place at birth, yet others form when stimulated by:

• Baby’s environment (Mother Nature nominates you, Mommy),
• daily interactions (nomination seconded!), and
• the emotional transactions that lead to secure attachment (you just won yourself an election, little lady).

Every experience — from playing giggle games  to realizing that a loved one (a bigger, more capable one) appears in response to a cry, — touches and strenghthens specific circuits while leaving others untouched.  Think “guy at the gym who pumps a lot of iron, but obviously never works out his legs.”

Unused connnections prune themselves away.  As they should.  Streamlined neural porcessing makes the remaining connections more efficient.  Think “it certainly is easier to find the things I need in my pantry now that I’ve tossed the food that nobody was eating”.

By two years of age, a toddler’s cerebral cortex contains a density and quality of neurons that far surpasses adult levels — well over a hundred trillion.  I don’t even know how many zeros to put.  I used to know, but I stopped using the hundred-trillion part of my brain…..

The developing brain (the childhood brain) is far more responsive to stimulation than an adult’s brain.  This is termed “plasticity.”  The most revolutionary finding in neuroscience is the confirmation that all brains, new and old, have the regenerative power of neuroplasticity.  But in this area, especially, babies remain even brainier than the rest of us.