“Potty-training” sounds like a program for apprentice plumbers, not babies.

The baby-biz lingo, “toilet learning,” conjures images of skipped classes, Fonzie jackets and smokin’ in the boys’ room.

For toddlers and the bathrooms that await them, the key word is “readiness.”  Most children are not ready to learn this complex process until about halfway between their second and third birthdays.

There are plenty of parents who insist (hope?) otherwise. And sure, some tots will offload cargo if you help them pull up to the dock at just the right moment. But that doesn’t mean the kids are “trained” — it means their parents are.

The first interaction that your baby will choose to have with you is a simple one.  He will stare at you.

Then he’ll follow you with his eyes.  Within a couple of months, he will smile.  At you.  On purpose. While he’s awake.

That is called the “social smile.”  And it’s a big deal when he decides to lay one on you.

The social smile is such a huge milestone because it brings together many other elements of your child’s development.

You know that hinky feeling your Aunt Edna gets in her belly when bad news is a comin’?

That used be called “Mother -wit.”  Now it’s called psychosomatic.

It’s a rare instinct that hasn’t been dulled by disrespect, replaced by reference libraries, or made out to be too primitive for these technology-based times.

The way that parents (most adults actually, in every studied culture, the world over) automatically talk when they’re talking to babies is an anthropological victory.  In the baby biz, we call that special language “Parentese.”

Depends on what one means by “home.”

Your newborn’s previous address was insulated against sound, wind gusts, sudden movements, and bright lights.  He never knew hunger — instead he enjoyed a steady and constant supply of nutrition.  He drifted in and out of a blissful haze of napping, stretching, napping some more.

Compared to that personal paradise, life on the outside can be challenging.  Your child now has to learn the complex processes of experiencing needs, alerting you about the needs, then waiting to see what happens.