If you follow Pediatricians’ recommendations, Tummy time (lying down in the prone position) will be the longest 3 minutes of your new baby’s life, too.

At about day three (postpartum for a baby carried to term), it’s time to give your infant the opportunity to develop even musculature in the neck, arms, and upper body.

If you’re like most new parents, you don’t even try to fight the urge to make it all better at the sound of the slightest whimper.    Well, tummy time will be one of your first tests of parenting resolve.  Babies don’t seem to like it much.  At first.  Expect mild protest.  That’s normal.

In my years of consulting experience (hundreds and hundreds of hours, sitting on living room floors, playing) the only babies who don’t mind tummy time are the ones who have mastered it.  There are ways of making the minutes move along.  Here’s a list.

What To Do During Tummy Time

• Tummy time is only for a few minutes.  A maximum of 3-5 minutes, a couple of times per day until your baby masters and enjoys this exercise;  then you can increase.
• Tummy time is for parents, too.  Your baby must be wide awake and you must supervise for the duration.
• Don’t practice tummy time in the crib — that’s where the research-endorsed position of back sleeping takes place.  Comfy blanket atop clean floor is perfect.  Pets behind closed doors — even better.
• Offer a toy.  It will distract your baby from the initial discomfort of this new activity.
• Offer a book.  A tiny, cardboard book with one well-defined image per page will help pass the tummy time.  Place book 8 inches from baby’s face, then tap a page and say the name of the item in the book to help baby learn to focus attention.
• Offer a sibling.  This new workout starts three days postpartum, remember?  All the way down to the floor and back up again?  You might need someone to spot you, Momma.  While parents supervise, older siblings can get acquainted with baby, and learn appropriate limits on play, personal space, and exuberance levels with your newborn.
• Use your judgment.  Your baby might complain bitterly about tummy time — and who knows the reason?  Just observe your baby, and respect those limits.  Try again tomorrow.

Really.  Try again.  Tomorrow would be a good time.  Due to important research leading to “Back to Sleep” recommendations for infants, parents will need to set aside time to create the tummy-only opportunities to build strength, sharpen depth perception, coordinate movements, and appreciate body awareness.  All of those abilities lead to the later milestones of crawling, cruising, walking, running, and playing sports.

Given the increasing rates of worrisome childhood obesity, it seems the responsible thing to do is to give a newborn bodies and brains the message that there is work to do in this life.  And that they can do it.

Just because your baby isn’t walking yet — that doesn’t mean her feet are unemployed.

For several weeks, the newborn might notice her own feet, especially during diaper changes when they are handled and held near the line of sight between her face and yours.

But there’s not much she can do about this new discovery until her brain development and motor development catch up with her observation skills.

Why she yawns during “This Little Piggy.”

Parents, your instincts are right: babies love this game.  But not immediately. The first few rounds of this game are often uneventful. You get to the exciting part, and baby cracks nary a smile.  That’s because your new infant has not yet discovered the thrill of da feet (or the rest of her body), but she will.  Some fine day, she’ll grab those feet, admire them, babble to them, and taste test them with a thoroughness America’s Test Kitchen only aspires to.

She’ll learn to enjoy her body shortly after she learns to control her body.  A younger baby’s movements are either involuntary like reflexes, or voluntary, meaning that the movements are something she will learn to do at will. As neuronal connections in the brain multiply and strengthen, newborn reflexes recede. Then, voluntary movements increase.

Baby’s first voluntary movements ensure her well-being by stabilizing her torso, head, and neck. Limb motions that initially seem random and disorganized are actually developing muscles that will support baby’s next stage of movement: manipulation.

The root word “mani” means “hand” in Latin.  Your settled baby (3 months and older) will begin using her hands to reach for an interesting item, then grasp it, then probably bring it to her mouth.  By the age of 4 or 5 months, her own foot counts as an interesting item.

When she finally does show an interest in hand games and toe games, it will be because her maturing memory allows her to remember (therefore eagerly anticipate) the piggy who squeals all the way home.  It will be because her receptive language ability lets her follow the rhythm of the words. Expressive language skills will help baby do her part in playing the game — smiling, cooing, or laughing, to let you know she’s enjoying the game.  The sequence of playing the game will enhance her social development, her awareness that people do fun things together.

Baby feet are fun for parents, too.  They’re cute, still clean all day, and for now, unscented.

In the past children learned to sing from siblings, parents, and extended family, in a process that parallels learning how to speak words.

Nowadays (yes, I used that word) it’s a purple dinosaur who teaches us that it’s much easier to “clean up, clean up” with the help of background singers.

As more children and their families consume media-generated sounds or songs, traditional music might be getting less attention.

I think it’s important for parents to reclaim music in all its forms: songs, poems, fingerplays, chants, and nursery rhymes.  Music can help you entertain, soothe, and reminisce with your young child.  As an extremely useful tool in the parenting kit, music can be employed to signal or ease the transitions from active time to nap-time.  Then back again.

Ages and Stages of music:

The Lullaby – according to Amy Robbins-Wilson, an award-winning expert on music for babies, a lullaby is a” soft and soothing song, usually sung to an infant or small child.” Our blogroll has a link to Amy’s enchanting work.

The Chant – most appropriate for and most appreciated by babies under a year old.  A chant is usually a rhythmic song or poem that is spoken rather than sung to music.  Like Parentese, it often involves exaggerated facial expressions or gestures.  Pat-a-cake is a prime example.

The Fingerplay – involves the hands and fingers to act out the message of the music. Ubiquitous example:  Itsy-Bitsy Spider.  Babies will love to imitate the hand movements, toddlers will almost accurately execute the movements, and preschoolers will teach you a thing or two about repertoire and manual dexterity.

Musical toys – age-appropriate xylophones and keyboards.  In some cases, high-quality recording/playback toys are a good choice.  I prefer to use the recording feature of these toys to capture the child’s voice for playback.  Amy Robbins-Wilson concurs: “The real magic happens when the child is actively making music.  It teaches the child that they are creators — not just consumers of sound.”

Musical toys give multiple benefits in other develoopmental domains:

• Xylophones: upper body development (the large muscles, aka gross motor ability).
• Keyboards: eye-hand coordination (and smaller muscles, aka fine motor ability).
• Playback songs: memory, attention span, and sequencing ability (math skills someday).

Music also helps you encourage your child’s emerging, perhaps tentative, talking skills.  The driving beat of a poem, chant, or song lets little ones smoothe over any verbal bumps in the road and just keep up with the music of it.

At around 12 weeks of age, babies move both of their arms when you offer an object.  Yet by 16 weeks of age, most babies reach out for objects with the left hand…..

But at 24 weeks (6 months) they are back to the two-handed approach.  Hmmm….

At 28 weeks, a mere month later, babies will again show a preference, and it is ususally the right hand.  You ready for this?  The switching back and forth continues.

Fascinating.  Dizzying.  Some experts say that hand preference isn’t fully determined until the age of eight.

What does it all mean?  It means the best thing you can do is support this process of allowing your child to do what feels right and authentic to her.

When she is new, help her hold an object (a rattle, or even better — your finger) in her otherwise empty fist.  Gently place your finger at the edge of her fist, then work your way in a massaging motion toward the palm of her hand.  Later, she’ll catch on and happily participate in this kind of skin-to-skin contact.  She’ll even seek it out, or make it part of her nursing routine.

Next step:  Holding objects in both hands at the same time.  At least until her first birthday, make it a point to offer toys to her at the middle of her body, or midline.  Although hand preference may appear to switch back and forth, it won’t be set for many years and many skills to come.

Toys of different textures or shapes offer your baby endless intrigue.  Offer a variety of safe (non-choking, non-allergen) items for her to explore.  She’ll taste them, she’ll drop them (she won’t look for them at first — good thing you’re there to retrieve them for her!)  – and she’ll choose her favorites.  Pay attention to her choices, and try to imagine what appeals to her about the items she likes to touch.  You may learn an insight to your child that will serve you well years into the future.

As she grows, provide plenty of opportunities to use her hands in many ways.  Play pat-a-cake with her, for her.  Then play it again (if she wants to, and she’ll usually want to).  What seems like a lot of repetition to you, seems like stimulation and reinforcement to her brain.  Toward the end of her first year, age-appropriate musical toys are a great tool for upper body development, coordination, as well as brain-boosting creative play.

“We’ve got to get her walkin’!” was Don’s battle cry upon hearing that his 14-month old granddaughter Lynn didn’t seem destined to begin walking any sooner than her mother or her uncle Rick had started — at the ripe age of 16 months.  Lynn’s mom (Don’s daughter) had just casually explained that little Lynn’s playgroup peers were already walking.  And snatching Lynn’s toys, then walking off with them.  The 14 month-old was helpless to do more than protest.

Visions of fifth-place finishes, runner-up trophies, and being picked last for teams swirled through Don’s anxious mind as he considered the future implications of his granddaughter’s missing milestone.  That Don’s own children has begun walking a little later then typical did not calm his fears.  Nor was his patience assisted by his medical training.  On most days Don, a doctor, understood (on an intellectual level) the wide range of normal human development.  But at that moment, Don was in Grandpa mode.

Sure, motor development milestones are important.  But parents can stress less, and enjoy their babies more if they use milestones to navigate, not rush the journey.

Here is a list of key body milestones, and what parents should do about them:

Newborn:

• Has hands that remain fisted for the first few weeks of life. Gently help her to hold your finger during nursing or quiet-alert times.
• Has a wobbly head that needs support. Tummy time is the answer!  A couple of “floor workouts” per day (3-5 minutes each) will help baby’s neck, torso, and upper body become stronger.  She may protest, or she may become an early crawler!
• Wiggly-ness. Use a safe bumper pad in the crib to protect baby from hard surfaces.  Bonus:  Choose a pad that offers visual stimulation.

Settled baby:

• Can support head by leaning on forearms. Like I said… crawling.  Time to think about safety-proofing.
• Has open hands that can reach for and grab things. Attract her attention to toys by shaking them gently.
• Likes to look at her own hands, sometimes bring them together, and bring items to her mouth. Offer age-appropriate toys to her at midline (the middle of her body).

Older baby:

• Can sit up on her own. Give her interesting toys and small, cardboard books to touch, hold, grab while she enjoys the new view.
• Starts crawling. Like I said…. safety proofing. She doesn’t have to crawl before she walks.  Not all babies go through this stage.  Those who do deserve a completely safety- proofed home.  In fact, parents, I suggest you get down and crawl around and see the dangers or temptations from your curious baby’s point of view.  Remove them, and let the exploring begin!
• Stands up.  Wow. She’ll do this while holding on, at first.  She needs solid, stationary items to help her pull herself up to standing.  Her intellectual curiosity can be satisfied by her own actions.  THIS is a milestone.
• Likes cruising. Don’t worry, this has nothing to do with your car keys or insurance rates.  Yet.  This means your baby is beginning to take…. er, baby steps along your furniture.  Good time for goal-setting, too.  Place an enticing toy just beyond your child’s reach.  Let her work toward and earn that reward.
• Gets back down to sitting. From the standing position or the cruising position, baby can lower herself back to the floor.
• Begins walking. Oh, yes, that.  At first, your baby will appreciate a helping hand.  After all that your baby accomplished in the first year of owning a body, this event almost seems more pivotal for the parents than for the baby.  Don’t get me wrong.  This vital milestone is important.  But so is the journey.

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