Just because your baby isn’t walking yet — that doesn’t mean her feet are unemployed.

For several weeks, the newborn might notice her own feet, especially during diaper changes when they are handled and held near the line of sight between her face and yours.

But there’s not much she can do about this new discovery until her brain development and motor development catch up with her observation skills.

Why she yawns during “This Little Piggy.”

Parents, your instincts are right: babies love this game.  But not immediately. The first few rounds of this game are often uneventful. You get to the exciting part, and baby cracks nary a smile.  That’s because your new infant has not yet discovered the thrill of da feet (or the rest of her body), but she will.  Some fine day, she’ll grab those feet, admire them, babble to them, and taste test them with a thoroughness America’s Test Kitchen only aspires to.

She’ll learn to enjoy her body shortly after she learns to control her body.  A younger baby’s movements are either involuntary like reflexes, or voluntary, meaning that the movements are something she will learn to do at will. As neuronal connections in the brain multiply and strengthen, newborn reflexes recede. Then, voluntary movements increase.

Baby’s first voluntary movements ensure her well-being by stabilizing her torso, head, and neck. Limb motions that initially seem random and disorganized are actually developing muscles that will support baby’s next stage of movement: manipulation.

The root word “mani” means “hand” in Latin.  Your settled baby (3 months and older) will begin using her hands to reach for an interesting item, then grasp it, then probably bring it to her mouth.  By the age of 4 or 5 months, her own foot counts as an interesting item.

When she finally does show an interest in hand games and toe games, it will be because her maturing memory allows her to remember (therefore eagerly anticipate) the piggy who squeals all the way home.  It will be because her receptive language ability lets her follow the rhythm of the words. Expressive language skills will help baby do her part in playing the game — smiling, cooing, or laughing, to let you know she’s enjoying the game.  The sequence of playing the game will enhance her social development, her awareness that people do fun things together.

Baby feet are fun for parents, too.  They’re cute, still clean all day, and for now, unscented.

For the record:

1. Milestones are guidelines for the journey.  Not markers for a race.
2. Babies have distinct personalities.
3. There will never be an adequate expert substitute for bare-knuckle parenting.

So much parenting advice out there … but, none of it matters if it doesn’t apply to your baby.   Forget the formulaic advice. The best strategy? Moms and Dads — know thy baby.

To know your baby, you must observe your baby.  A key fact to remember is that babies grow via observable processes that we in the baby biz call “domains.”  The developmental domains interconnect, they are interdependent, and an infant’s proficiency in each domain strengthens quickly.  Babies have steady work.  Even in this economy.

Regular readers have noticed that every MommyGarten.com blog post pertains to a specific domain of development (refer to the icon beside each post title). Just to be clear, here’s what I mean when I bandy those terms about:

The Developmental Domains:

Emotional Development and Social Development – (Think “People Skills.”)   Because both of these intricately related domains comprise the basis for the quantity and quality of all future relationships in life, I sometimes discuss them together.  Your newborn’s emerging interpersonal skills really function as questions at first:

• “If I cry, who will come?”
• “What will they do?”
• “If I give a smile, will I get one back?”

The quality and quantity of your answers will teach your baby all that he knows about relationships.  He will also use this information to form a belief system about his self-worth, and the role of others in his life.  He will spend his future living out these beliefs, culminating in the development of his character.  Children don’t begin “working on” social skills  in preschool — I don’t care what the brochure says.

Motor Development –  (Think “Body Awareness” or “Body Self.”)  The word motor comes from the Latin word that means movement.  At first innate reflexes offer an additional layer of protection against this startling world.  Babies drop off to sleep to shut out overstimulation (which is brain-damaging if left unchecked), they turn toward possible food sources, you know — survival-oriented things like that.  When newborns shed those programmed responses, they gain (enjoy, even) a sense where they are in space, what they can do (making a noise by shaking a rattle), and how they feel (oooh, those feet are soft.  Yummy, too).

An awakening body awareness is the beginning of self-sufficiency.  That is why I have been known to advise thumb-sucking for parents looking for extra ways to soothe their babies  – when again in life will baby be able to stick something in his mouth, make it all better, and not have to brush his teeth or jog afterwards?

Language Development – The first communication is the cry.  That’s all a baby can pronounce, isn’t it?  Soon, parents will notice the different sounds of baby’s cry.  Please pause long enough to be amazed, folks.  Your baby is organizing his communication around an intention.  (Think “Communication.”  Think “Skills!”)

Brain Development - The brain domain is a dynamic one.  There have been revolutionary discoveries about infant brain development since I became a mommy, and since I began my career.  For my purposes here, I include intellectual growth (“Thinking Skills.”)  Sometimes brain development posts will be about the almost mechanical processes by which your baby learns (e.g., experiences create brain pathways, repeated experiences deepen the pathways, and the deepened pathways facilitate the ease of future experiences of the same nature). Sometimes I will talk about intellectual milestones like the acquisition of object permanence, and the parenting implications (the need to safety-proof your entire home), or  how learning styles are as individual as personality.

For weekly updates on the rapid changes in your baby’s development, subscribe to Milestones, MommyGarten’s weekly primer on child development and current parenting issues.

Your baby is in cahoots with Mother Nature.

Together, they lure you (and any other helpless adult) into feeding, touching, talking to, listening to, and bonding with the newborn members of our species. About twelve inches from target is the best distance for a newborn’s built-in binoculars to see most clearly.

You play into their hands every time you position the highly-favored roundness of your face and your eyes’ rounded irises approximately that distance from your baby’s face — an inevitable consequence of breastfeeding.

Your new infant also appreciates the easy-to-see contrast between light and dark.  That’s why you’ll notice his gaze fixed on your hairline, your eyebrows, and even your moving mouth — you are talking to him during feedings, right?

Your Baby’s Physical Tools

Within the first moments of life outside the womb, your baby has reflexes that help ensure survival.  Some reflexes are strongest in the hours following birth, but subside, then disappear, within days or weeks.  Just in time for mother to bounce back from the labor of … well, labor.  And delivery.  One of the most powerful of these survival tools is the rooting reflex.  When a nipple (or even a finger) brushes by his cheek is touched baby’s mouth opens, and his head turns toward the stimulus, as he searches for the breast.  What comes next, a strong sucking action, is another survival strategy.  Your baby’s perfectly engineered taste bud system and mouth are ready to receive whatever nutrition he manages to extract with all that rooting, hoping, searching, and sucking.

Your Baby’s Psychological Tools

Just as day-to-day Mommy rebounds from the postpartum period, layer by later of Mother Nature’s innate physical protections for the newborn melt away — to be replaced by parenting skills.  Different states of consciousness can be observed (think “hints-on-how-to-handle-me”).  No longer living in a climate-controlled, sound-insulated womb, baby learns to rely on strategies (like falling asleep in a roomful of noisy voices) to ward off sensory overload. Learning to ask to have his needs met is another valiant attempt to communicate.  My work with babies and their parents has shown me that the seemingly complex relationships between new baby and nervous parent could be much simpler, with the addition of a few tools to the parenting kit.  The moms, dads, and caregivers who learn how to observe and recognize the distinct states of consciousness will soon learn how to respond to cues, and therefore, needs.  In the school of life, displeased babies issue loud progress reports.

States of Consciousness

It might seem like there are only two states of mind for a newborn:  crying or not.   Your child is much more interesting than that!

Here are some notes for your upcoming pop quizzes:  To assess what state of consciousness your baby is experiencing, observe the level of physical activity, facial expressions and activity, breathing rhythms, responsiveness to people and things in the environment.  There are six-count-em six distinct states of consciousness that your little one will experience during the day:

• Deep sleep — my mother used to call this “sound asleep.”  That makes sense.  During this state, the baby seems oblivious to sounds, or siblings, and most other stimulation for that matter.  This is what people mean when they say “slept like a baby.”  It’s not a great time for attempting a feeding; it is a great time for caregivers to rest.
• Light sleep — there’s a lot of activity during this kind of sleep.  Fluttering eyes, sucking motions, and body movements in this state can be confusing to new parents.  It’s actually a very normal state that accounts for a lot of newborn sleeping time.
• Drowsy, but awake — I call this “to be determined.”  It really could go either way.  Your baby might sleep more, or wake on up.  He will  respond to stimulation but then again, he might have a good cry.
• Quiet, but alert — Great time for feedings, conversations, hugs, or tapping on the pages of a cardboard book.  An infant’s bright eyes, fully open, signal that he is receptive to paying attention and receiving attention.  If you shake a rattle, and he’ll look at it.  Speak his favorite language (parentese), and he might move his mouth, too.
• Active and alert — Some parents call this fussy.  Baby might be getting hungry, he might want some space, or he might want to be soothed by you.  Observant parents will note that this isn’t the best time for playing, or chatting, but it’s a great time to make sure baby is comfy, and that the environment isn’t overwhelming his senses.
• Crying — Okay, so you’re new at this, and you didn’t quite handle the “fussy” window of opportunity to his liking.  No worries, you’ll get more chances.  And you’ll get better at it.  Just so you’ll know, most babies under 3 months old have crying periods, especially toward the end of the day.  It’s important to respond immediately, knowing that it is impossible to “spoil” a baby under six months of age.  If he can soothe himself, let him.  If he needs your help, give it calmly.  Just be glad he still tells you what’s on his mind.  That will change in about 12 years.